History repeats

I had been quiet for a long while. First, I needed time to recover from my rebound. (I wonder if all relationships are just rebounds of the previous one. That's a long chain of rebounds!) Second, no one really became serious enough.

But much has been happening and it feels like things are churning.


He was almost perfect. Very sweet, very romantic. He said I made his happiness two-fold.

Opal Lei: Besides my friend says I should ignore men.
Almost: nooooo
Opal Lei: She said if I ignore men, they'll fall in love with me more.
Almost: i am already fallen
Almost: cant go deep more

Lately, he had been barely responsive, even when he was logged in. I stopped messaging him, but he IM'd me again one day.

Alt#11: And I was thinking you were already bored with me.
Almost: nah, not like that but i m really busy, u have seen it, most of the time i m on chat client like tonight
Alt#11: Well, men in SL have used being busy as an excuse to disappear, you know.
Almost: really....
Almost: then next time onwards i will cc u my work

I asked him to at least respond to my messages even if his responses were just a quick kiss or a goodnight. He did a couple of times.

Then, Friday evening, he said he was going to bed to catch up on his sleep because he was only getting 4 to 5 hours of sleep for several weeks. An hour later, he showed up on my radar at Franks. I asked him if he couldn't sleep. He gave some vague excuse about catching up on news. I wondered why he was catching up on news at Franks; he said someone teleported him there.

I just caught him in a lie.

It's uncanny how history repeats itself. I was so pissed that I removed him from Alt#11's friends list right then and there, and from another alt's friends list also. But I had second thoughts about removing him from Opal's friends list. So he's still there. For now. I still give him the benefit of a doubt. Maybe because I too have fallen.

Still I was bothered enough, so that my interactions with other men are affected by it.

In the afternoon, I had very little patience for a new acquaintance who kept kissing and hugging for no reason, even though I just met him.

This evening, I realized that I had been too mean with another suitor, who had tried my patience for being so bossy and manipulative and inconsiderate since I met him a few weeks ago.

SilverSpoon: I like you a lot
Alt#11: thanks
SilverSpoon: don't hurt me again
Alt#11: then stay away
Alt#11: I have thorns.
Alt#11: Anyone who comes close gets hurt.

He logged off without a word. I suppose I hurt him again with that response.

The greater the pain inside, the sharper the spikes outside....