To be special

"i don't like to not be 'special' for someone i have sex [with]"

That was Wolfgang in his typical indirect double-negative way, talking about Alt#6 a while ago.

I always knew that each relationship is different, because the pairing is different, particularly in open relationships. Each partner is different, so the dynamic is different.

However, in a world of cookie-cutter parts, we all tend to look alike and move alike.  The differences are not in how our avatars look or move; the differences are in what we -- the puppeteers -- say and do.



Even with the admittedly large number of relationships I've had in SL, I've always tried to differentiate each lover. A different term of endearment, a different way of saying "I love you," a different "nest," a different shared activity. In that way, I make each one special, at least until the relationship ends.

One French lover used to say, "Bisou, bisou."  Another French lover says, "Je t'embrasse."  I called one Spanish lover "carinyo" and another "querido."  With one lover, I shared a NY skyloft. With another, a tree house on a floating island.  With another, an antique ship.  With yet another, an ornate pavilion inside a globe with an elephant in the room, which he, of course, ignored.  ;)

There are many ways to say "I love you" and there are many ways to express it wordlessly.  And there are many ways to make a relationship special and unique.  If you remember to differentiate.

During one serious argument with Wolfgang, I suggested that maybe we should just be friends, because I was afraid that we would violently argue one day and we'd lose contact entirely.  To my surprise, my suggestion angered him even more.  The reason was that he knows that I don't make an effort to maintain my friendships.  I pretty much leave encounters to chance or the other person's efforts, and I don't stay for long conversations.  (There's an unfortunate reason for that.)  On the other hand, I would willingly lose sleep for a lover and I do.

In my earlier years in SL, the only difference between a friend and a lover was that I had sex with a lover.  These days, there are many more differences, because, not only do I have to differentiate between a lover and friend, I also have to differentiate among my different lovers, past and present.  It is how I honor my relationship with each of them.  By keeping them unique in some way.  By keeping them special.

That, however, does not guarantee that I remain special to them.

Like Wolfgang, I don't like to not be special in a lover's life.  But, as he also often says, sometimes it is what it is.

Avatar lookalikes

Almost two years ago, I had this conversation with Lora (I was wearing one of my mermaid tails.):

[2007/08/29 20:44] Lora Chadbourne: I saw a woman at the store today who looks like your avie :)
[2007/08/29 20:44] Lora Chadbourne: with legs
[2007/08/29 20:45] Opal Lei: What's the name.
[2007/08/29 20:45] Lora Chadbourne: RL honey
[2007/08/29 20:45] Opal Lei: Oh. :D
[2007/08/29 20:45] Opal Lei: lol
[2007/08/29 20:45] Lora Chadbourne: I did a double take
[2007/08/29 20:45] Opal Lei: You mean she didn't have a tag over her head? lol
[2007/08/29 20:45] Lora Chadbourne: it was like, there's Opal! :)
[2007/08/29 20:45] Lora Chadbourne: lol
[2007/08/29 20:45] Opal Lei: lol

Yesterday, the Captain said he saw a young woman (probably in her mid-twenties) who looked just like my RP alt, with the same face, the same hair, and the same "hippy skirt" as he calls it. He didn't get a very good look because he saw her for only about a minute. He said she must have felt uncomfortable and so turned away from him.

What's with these real life people imitating my avatars?!? ;)

The Captain said he would let me know if he sees a RL woman who looks like my sex alt. :D I said he wouldn't. Because his heart is bound to my RP alt, not to my sex alt.

He had been away for the whole week, popping in briefly once on Thursday. He was so busy, he didn't even have time to RP via email with me. And when I talked to him via Skype yesterday, he was sniffling; he has a cold. Poor baby.

And to top all that, I had to give him some news -- that I met someone.

The Captain took the news calmly as I knew he would. He wanted me to promise him I would be happy. I said I couldn't promise that, but I promised I would try. His generosity of spirit still overwhelms me.

I don't know how serious this new affair would be and it wouldn't change things much yet, except that I may not be as available to the Captain. Right now, the only reason I'm entertaining this new affair is that this new guy is unattached irl -- a widower. So I won't have to deal with the cricket there.

Ethnicity in SL

One of the questions in the MODA Spotlight application form was "SL ethnicity". I wrote down "Pacific Islander mix".

A month ago, Mak sent out a group notice, looking for models who were Asian irl. I replied that I'm Southeast Asian. She wanted ethnic models for Spotlight. I said I'd work on the shape, since all my skins were already tan. Well, Opal already looked ethnic with her tan skin and full lips, but it's a non-specific ethnicity. And with the straight black hair, she *does* look like a Pacific Islander.



Then life got way too busy and I never got the chance to work on the shape.

Anyway, my skin has that lovely face but the skin on the arms is flat and the lower body is blurry, so I didn't look so good in revealing clothes. Once, while chatting with Headman, I complained about the navel being out of focus so I had to always wear a belly jewel when my midriff is bare. And he goes, "I think that's called a fuzzy navel." LOL

This week, I was asked to model some lingerie for marketing photos for a clothes designer and the fuzzy navel won't do. So I had to go searching for a new skin.

Long story short, after a few demos and a lot of face tweaking, I ended up with this:





If I go with dark eyes, I really look Southeast Asian. But dark eyes look flat from a distance. Besides, I absolutely love these pale blue eyes. They're very unusual and certainly unexpected with dark skin, so they add a punch to my look. So, I guess, it's an Amerasian/Eurasian look.

It doesn't have the regal bearing and classic elegance of this look though, so I'll probably keep going back and forth for a while.



And now that you know my RL ethnicity, you're probably wondering if that woman in my Morphing Portraits logo is me. The answer is no. But we're related.

A tale of two costumes

Well, I didn't have time to make a witty costume this year, but I found this freebie "webby" costume through the "Hey, girlfriends!" network. It gets my vote for "Best use of sculpties". :D

Gamel pinged me while I was taking pictures of it, so he got to see it. And he approved of it. Lora said, "Of course, he would." :D But when I asked Lora if I could wear it to her Halloween party, she had to think about it. (Click on the pic to go to Flickr and look for the half-body shot to get a better view of the sculpty.)


Well, she gave me the go-ahead the next day, but I had already decided on an alternate costume that's very PG-rated. Actually, I got this costume a few weeks ago from Bare Rose. And it's what I ended up wearing at the party anyway, since I wasn't sure who was going to be there.


*sigh* In a place like SL, it's kinda hard to make a costume stand out, you know.

Purple synchronicity

Okay, this question is for the ladies: You know that feeling when you go to a party and you find someone wearing the same dress? Well, how about going to a live music event and you find someone who wears the same face?

Yup! That happened to me last night.

I was wearing a purple tank top and my purple hair to match. (The same purple hair as in my profile pic.) Then, last night, I was at Frogg and Jaycatt's concert at the border of Lusk and Luskwood. While sitting there, I saw something in the public chat about people wearing purple. So, I moved my camera around to look at the other purple-wearing people in the audience.

And, there at the opposite end of the bleachers, I saw my own face. She was wearing hair in a lighter shade of purple and a top in the same lighter shade. For a long while, I looked at her at different angles.

When the shock wore off, I said hi in IM and asked her if she purchased her shape; she said she made it herself. Whew! That was a relief. I was worried that there's a whole lot more of us walking around in SL. Running into someone who looks like me is disconcerting to say the least.

If you want to see for yourself, her blog (http://meratalk.com/reina) contains some pictures of her. To compare, you can find my incarnation pictures in http://WildOpalLei.fotki.com/incarnations. There are differences between us, but at first glance, we could be mistaken as the other.

Thank goodness for name tags floating above us.