La Belle et la Bête

A couple of years ago, Yes Man bought a minotaur avie to wear for me, because I had seen a minotaur copulating with a human slave and the scene was surprisingly very erotic.

Wolfgang knew about that minotaur.

We had been talking on and off about what to do with Alt#27 and Wolfgang#6. He felt that we were stagnating there, because we were walking a fine line. We weren't entirely into BDSM and we weren't entirely out of it either. There wasn't much room to move. I would have been fine keeping them as they were, even if they were stagnant, but he figured that, unless they grew, they would eventually disappear.

One day, I mentioned that I missed Wolfgang#2, who was the first of his alts that I met. I missed the connection we had and I wanted to go back to the old roleplay to relive it again. He refused because parts of BDSM hurt me, even if I assured him we would be fine, because we've developed more amiable and more tender connections with each other through our other alt pairs. He still refused.

He didn't want to go back to the past. He preferred to move forward. And, among other ideas, we revisited the beast, which would be a very erotic roleplay. I wasn't sure it was the right idea though. He once refused to wear a hamster avie even if it was just for fun. He reasoned he's not a hamster, and I argued he wasn't female either but he has female avies. I didn't want him to do it reluctantly, so I didn't mention it again, although we explored the Marketplace to see our options. Although he later insisted he already agreed to it, I wasn't so sure.

Deciding what to do next with those alts was a very frustrating argument that took several days, and we both got very frustrated and irritated and angry whenever we talked about it. Even when we were in our other more tender alts. And that's when we finally admitted to ourselves that how we felt in one alt pair would affect other alt pairs.

One evening, he mentioned that he  transferred some L$ to Wolfgang#6 for the beast avie. He wanted me to choose, even the color. And I was surprised. To him, his avies were representations of the real-life him. And yet, here he was, allowing me to define who he would be. He wanted to please me. He wanted me to be happy. And I was overwhelmed.

Maybe he's reciprocating, because he saw how I allowed Alt#6 to split into four characters for him: a cat, a furry, a neko, and the original human and he saw how those alternative avies added very interesting complexities to our interactions. Whatever his reasons, the beast was a wonderful gift.

Then he came up with a wonderful premise for a background story. A curse that turned him into a beast. A love that was torn apart because of it. Souls reincarnating through time and lovers finding each other again in their new incarnations and the curse being invoked again. The story is very promising but still has holes that we'll resolve as we go along. And it was still a form of D/s, but more "excusable" because of the wild nature of the beast.

The other day, we made love with him as the beast for the first time. It was very potent. He could simply take me. And being taken like that (of course, with implicit permission and our safe word) was very arousing.

As we were reflecting on it, I realized that this wasn't like the minotaur at all. The minotaur was a sex object that Yes Man wore, only when we decided to do that sexual scenario. On the other hand, the beast is an ongoing roleplay, and it already has a background story, so it has the beginnings of a "soul."  Wolfgang thinks that makes a big difference, and I agree.

It seems so "natural." After all, he has been calling me his "beauty" for a long while now.

"... Barely even friends,... then somebody bends... unexpectedly...."

Time wasters

I broke up with Yes Man a couple of days ago. He admitted that he was roleplaying; I was taking it seriously.

I am very disappointed, to say the least. I had specifically detailed out what I expect in my relationships. Not just in Opal's profile but also in Alt #11's profile. He met Alt #11 first. He knows me from my most anonymous alt to my RL. He read my blog almost in its entirety. We had been talking almost every night for two months.

And yet, when I repeated exactly what I said in Opal's profile verbatim,...

Love me ...
... only if you understand that SL is NOT a game, because it isn't to me and my heart is not a plaything.
... only if you understand that SL is NOT separate from RL, and commitments made in SL have the same weight as commitments made in RL. Meeting me in a virtual world doesn't make me less human or less worthy of respect than people you meet in real life.

... his reply was, "Well, people say 'things' in their profiles." So he thought I was lying in my profile?!? Even after reading my blog extensively and talking to me for two months?!?

How else could I make it clearer what I expect? I put it out there for people to read in so many places. If people ignore it and assume it's a lie, even when there is so much evidence supporting it, is it a wonder that they cause a disaster?

This is why drama happens!

You try to be straighforward with people and they lie to you and assume that you're lying to them to justify their own lies. WTF?!?

If someone specifically says they're NOT playing, and you're a player, do the world a favor and keep walking. Playing is a legitimate use of this platform, and that's fine. But please don't impose your games on those of us who already made it clear that we're not playing. You're wasting our time with your games.

*sigh*

That said, Yes Man was a good lover. He was considerate and consistent and thoughtful and attentive, and he made me happy with his presence and his smiles and our conversations. Too bad it was just a game to him.

Well, if nothing else, he remains a friend. How good a friend remains to be seen.

Midnight Yes's

We've been talking every night at midnight these days. Sometimes we talk until 3am; sometimes, until 6am. By voice.

He read all my blogs, both SL and RL. He knows pretty much everything about me now. That's not unusual; other lovers have done that in the past. What impresses me is that he notes what I like and does what he thinks would please me.

He read the background story of my RP alt and, because her character is based on a book, he went out to buy the book.

I invited him to join me in roleplay so we would have an activity we could do together. He's not comfortable with roleplaying, because he doesn't feel confident about his English, although he had done some fighting roleplay in the past in his own language. But he was very willing to try and, last night, he had already come up with the background story for his character.

I had also told him about a scene I had witnessed, where an anthro and a human female slave were having sex, and I mentioned that I was surprised at how erotic that was. The other day, he said he had a surprise for me. He had bought the same anthro avatar. O... M... G..... *swoons*

Without any prompting, he decided to create an alt for me. He asked what name I wanted him to use, then, on his own accord, he tacked on Alt #11's last name. He wore several skins and hair with his main alt, and there was a specific skin and hair I liked. He bought those for his new alt.

There are many more little details that he could have picked up only by reading my blogs. He pays attention. And he acts on them generously. And I am overwhelmed. It feels as though he's trying to bring me into his life through these objects and experiences that are part of my life.

He's careful about saying "yes" so he doesn't inadvertently arouse me. :D But he says "yes" with his actions instead, and that melts my heart.

Midnight is now our routine. He meets me when he wakes up and we spend time together until I start falling asleep. In a conversation with one of my RP sisters, I told her that I didn't have much time because I was expecting a lover at midnight. So she called him my "midnight lover." I joked that I'm the anti-Cinderella because I actually look forward to midnight.

Once he said that he wants to break my record of 10 months for one affair.

I hope he does.

Yes Man

I met him a week ago. He has been in SL almost as long as I have, and he still loves it. He's neither a techie nor an artist, so he didn't fit the stereotype of an early adopter. He found Alt #11 at Frank's, sitting alone and he sat by me and kept me company.

Nothing particularly special about the conversation, except that he asked incisive questions so I ended up telling some old personal history that wasn't pleasant. He was very understanding, but I still felt bad that the conversation ended on an iffy note, and it was already 4am so I had to get to bed.

Yesterday, I saw him log in and said hi. He said he was going sailing and that there was a spare seat on the boat. Well, I was in a gown at Frank's, so I waited til he tp'd me before I changed into a bikini. Then we sailed all over Blake Sea, and chatted. Again, just pleasant conversation. Nothing particularly special.

After lag caught up with us and a couple of crashes, we spent time at a nearby island which had swimming poseballs, so we swam around and raced and chatted. We decided to try voice so we could talk while exploring. Then we switched to Skype because his voice was too muffled, so I had to create a Skype account for Alt #11. Since English is not his first language, he was a bit worried that he would not be able to understand me, so I promised I'd type things out if he couldn't, and I tried to remember to speak slower and in simpler English. But he understood me fine most of the time anyway.

At least twice, our avies dog-paddled in the same spot right next to each other, when the conversation became intense. But it was much much later before the conversation got to sex. We talked about sex like we were talking about everyday things. I wasn't particularly aroused, and I think he was slightly. But as I was giving my opinion about certain things, he just naturally said "Yes" once in a while to agree with me.

But there was something about those Yes's. It was the way he said it, combined with some memory in my mind. He drew out the "s" and he said it in a soft whisper. The first time he said "Yes", I had to pause. I was feeling something. Then he said it again the same way. And again. And suddenly I was aroused.

The way he said "Yes" was exactly the same way a past lover said it, except that past lover was saying it while we were making love or during a prelude to sex. I don't even remember which past lover it was! I just remember that he was saying "Yes" that way while I was RPing doing pleasurable things to him.

So, just the sound of that "Yes" was intensely arousing! I'm like Pavlov's dogs!

Well, that was at 4am; I was ready to go to bed. But because of those Yes's, I didn't log off until 6am.

Ohhhh, yessssss! *winks*