MAD

I think I've talked in the past about how we bring so much of ourselves into SL, how our avatars represent more of our real psyches than we care to admit. Each of my alts are different aspects of my real self. They each have their own domain, their own purpose for existing.

But, a few days ago, I (as Opal) felt a faint sense of jealousy over Alt #9's skin, which prompted me to get the same skin for Opal, even though I already said I won't be buying new skin for Opal for a while. So that was a vague hint of separating. Of aspects of me pulling apart.

Then last night, I witnessed the same separation on someone else.

You see, Alt #9's bf (BF #1) created a new alt (BF #2). BF #2 is supposed to belong to my Alt #9 exclusively, so he wouldn't be disturbed by IMs and such, while he's with me. So, we were running around yesterday, shopping for skin and hair and other important parts. *grins* Anyway, (with my prodding, of course), he used the same shape and the same skin, except with a different beard and different hair, so they looked like twins, but not quite. The goatee on BF #2 made him look more like the "bad boy" type; that beard was his choice.

He had both alts logged in almost the whole time. And towards the end of the evening, I asked, "So, whom do I cuddle with tonight?" And BF #1 replied that he would, then he proceeded to shoo away BF #2, like a jealous boyfriend.

It was a funny and charming roleplay, but I was surprised that he seemed very decided that he chose BF #1 to stay, even though he created BF #2 specifically to be with me. I told him I was glad anyway, because I've grown attached to BF #1, even though I know they're both him. I said that it feels like there was more of him in BF #1; he agreed that there was.

You know, I'm surprised that the mental health professionals aren't coming down on SL in droves. SL isn't helping people integrate their personalities; it's allowing people to split up their personalities even more. :D

Hmmm, I wonder if I could sell a book titled, "Multiple Alt Disorder (MAD) - Split Personalities in Virtual Worlds"....

And, yes, Alt #10 will be named Sybil, and she'll definitely be a member of the "SLoony Bin Residents" group.

Alt envy

Well, I was dressing my new alt today (yes, the mystery alt with the love affair). And I was taking her pictures, and I realized,... Geez, she looks so much better than Opal! Of course, Opal got jealous, so I had to buy her a new skin today. :D

It's the same skin as the mystery alt. And since the shape is very similar and just tweaked slightly, they look almost like twins now.

It used to be that I'd use a different skin manufacturer for each alt, but certain looks just feel right, and this feels right for Opal right now.

I think it might also be psychological. I'm in that alt a lot nowadays so I associate with that alt more. Plus I'm having a lot of feel-good emotions there, so, in a sense, I'm pulling some of those good vibes into this side.

So, the triptych is gone from my profile now and replaced with this one:


I'll be changing my picture in all other web applications soon.

Meanwhile, the mystery alt is having quite a torrid love affair. Gamel said that "torrid" is an ugly word and suggested other adjectives like "passionate", "ardent", or "beautiful". I replied that "torrid" was the perfect adjective with the "rrrrrr" sound, because of all the sex going on. And he wished me a verrrrrrrrrrrry torrrrrrrrrrrrid affair. LOL

"Describe your personality"... Which one?

I just completed my application for a position as a model with the MODA Spotlight team.

One of the questions is "List 5 words that describe your personality" and, in my opinion, it is the most difficult question in the list. So I have the usual stuff in it, but the last one is one that I think my friends who know me well would be vigorously nodding their heads to:

"e. Multiple (often followed by the word 'disorder') - supposedly as evidenced by my growing number of alts"

:D

Pulling myself together

Jaime had always joked about my persona being fragmented, what with my separation of my RL and my SL, with all my different alts, and with all the different work I do. I explained that these fragments were all different aspects of me, and he accepted my explanation.

The last time we had a long conversation, he felt that, now, he too was getting fragmented. My only response was that, sometimes, we have to split off aspects of ourselves in order to pay attention to those aspects and heal them.

Well, as I've mentioned in the last blog entry, it seems that my different aspects are converging, because my alts are beginning to look alike. This past week, another convergence has happened -- I got a domain.

And you're probably going, "Huh?" ;D Well, one small step at a time. First, I have to pull Opal together, all my businesses as Opal and all my activities as Opal. So, now, they're all under one roof, so to speak. Introducing...

www.OpalLei.com

Yup. And it's anonymous, so don't go looking for my name in whois.org. But it has links to everything Opal does, including this blog.

Oh, alright, I lied. It has links to everything *PG* that Opal does. Geez.