Benchmarking beauty

Noni Abeyante asked the MODA Spotlight models to create a comp card. I didn't know there was such a thing until now. Apparently, it's like a mini-portfolio / business card for models.

Anyway, after looking at several examples on the web, I came up with this, which is laid out more like a magazine spread.



The hardest part of the process is choosing which pictures to include, even after limiting my choices to the ones where I'm wearing my current skin.

And the paradigm shift of the day is when I looked at old pictures and think, "Oh, my god, I'm so ugly!" even where I thought I looked drop-dead gorgeous when the picture was taken. This is the exact opposite of my reaction when I look at my old RL pictures and realize that I didn't look as bad as I thought when I was younger.

And I've come to the realization that, not only do we not own our beauty as Black says, but our perception of beauty changes, depending on who we are at that point in time. And, maybe, it is also influenced by how much control we have in how we look.

Black is back

There's a Zen koan that goes something like this:

An older monk and a young monk were on their way to a temple where they would spend the night. Along the way, they came upon a river that was swollen from heavy rains. On the river's edge stood a woman who was trying to figure out how to cross.

Now, monks are not allowed to touch a woman at all and the young monk thought that they would simply pass the woman. Instead, when the older monk realized the woman's dilemma, he said, "Come on, woman," and picked her up on his shoulders. The young monk was shocked at the older monk's actions but he chose not to say anything.

When they reached the other bank, the older monk set the woman down. She thanked them profusely and they all went their separate ways. When the monks were in sight of the temple at sundown, the young monk suddenly blurted out, "You... You touched that woman back there!"

It was the older monk's turn to be surprised. He replied, "I set her down a long time ago. Why are you still carrying her?"

I have two young monks who continue to carry my sex alt.

The first one would IM every month or two for more than a year now, even after I had thought we already said our goodbyes. I was getting him ready to meet Opal when he chose not to move forward. His reason: "Rivers always run." That was after I told him the Zen koan. Months later, he returned and said, "I had forgotten how good you are." Because I had succeeded in tempting him again. :)

The second one also said his goodbyes and came back several weeks later. He has now made it a point to check on me every Saturday.

Black, whom I had talked about in the past, goes in the opposite direction. Whereas most of my other lovers met my sex alt first, Black met my RL alt first. In spite of all the heavy sexual flirting, I haven't had sex with him -- yet. He was gone from SL for a long time, and he came back yesterday. In a different alt. He left because he "didn't want to be tempted by the SL distraction". I think he came back precisely because of the SL distraction.

I think he's my third young monk. But he decided to come back to the river so he could carry me across and, more importantly, so he could set me down on the other side. As friends with privileges, no exclusivity, and in roleplay to muffle the cricket.


(My young lover who wanted exclusivity also returned, still deeply in love with my voice. But he caught me at a busy time because of the faire so I'll have some catching up to do with him too. *sigh* I am blessed.)

You don't own your beauty

I met Black more than two years ago through my RL alt. We've chatted many times about business in SL, about roleplaying, about real life. When I focused on Opal, he and I rarely caught each other online, so we hadn't talked for a long while. Then late last month, he logged in while I was in that alt.

That night, the flirting got really intense. And since I had been offering long-time friends the chance to know my RL, I did the reverse with Black. I offered him the chance to know my main alt, which is Opal. (I also wanted to move the flirting away from my RL business alt.)

Even after knowing Opal for almost a month now, he still thinks my RL alt (which is the least attractive of all my female alts) is sexier.

I said, "I work hard to make this avie pretty and you prefer the least attractive avie."

He replied, "Beauty is [like] reputation. ... You don't own it. ... Others do. ... Others own your 'beauty'."

*sigh* I'm spending hundreds of thousands of Lindens and countless hours on something others own. That's just not fair....