No lovers on the cover

Under the covers, yes.  But not ON the cover.

I'm talking about the cover of the book.  *grins*

I'm working on the artwork for the book cover for "Love, Like Dim Sum" and I sent out this call for male avatars.  I could have just asked my lovers to pose for me.  After all, most of the book is about my relationships.

But, I decided to exclude lovers.  And even potential lovers.

I don't want any competition among them.  And since many of them rarely log in anymore, it's not fair that some lovers would be on the cover and others would not.

And I need to get this done soon.  It's due Monday for a mention in a very important media newsletter that will come out mid-February, which is my target release date, so I don't have time to wait for scarce lovers to log in again.

So, if you were not invited to this photo shoot, it's because a) you were a lover, b) you are a lover, or c) you're a potential lover.  So consider it a compliment. ;)

Vrroom! Vrroom!

Rodion gave me permission to quote him. We were chatting last night about machinima because I want to create a 30-second commercial for Mer Betta, and the conversation kinda drifted away from that. He was complimenting my avatar.

Rodion Resistance: it's more like me appreciating a sports car that overtook the bus I was riding
Opal Lei: LOL
Rodion Resistance: sorry for the rough analogy
Opal Lei: I love it. lol
Rodion Resistance: its an art thing with sensuality spread like sugar crystals
Opal Lei: Can I blog that sports car comment? lol
Rodion Resistance: sure!
Opal Lei: Yay! lol
Rodion Resistance: but in your case not only a sports car, you're more like an exotic foreign v12 engine supercar
Opal Lei: LMAO
Opal Lei: I think that's one of the best compliments I've gotten.

Vrroom! Vrroom! :D

You don't own your beauty

I met Black more than two years ago through my RL alt. We've chatted many times about business in SL, about roleplaying, about real life. When I focused on Opal, he and I rarely caught each other online, so we hadn't talked for a long while. Then late last month, he logged in while I was in that alt.

That night, the flirting got really intense. And since I had been offering long-time friends the chance to know my RL, I did the reverse with Black. I offered him the chance to know my main alt, which is Opal. (I also wanted to move the flirting away from my RL business alt.)

Even after knowing Opal for almost a month now, he still thinks my RL alt (which is the least attractive of all my female alts) is sexier.

I said, "I work hard to make this avie pretty and you prefer the least attractive avie."

He replied, "Beauty is [like] reputation. ... You don't own it. ... Others do. ... Others own your 'beauty'."

*sigh* I'm spending hundreds of thousands of Lindens and countless hours on something others own. That's just not fair....

Two and a half years

I met Blue Tsuki at a sandbox in 2006. He was wearing an ornate texture for skin and he was building a stepped pyramid.

That Christmas, he gave me one of his works as a present. I've acquired many of his works since then, but this particular one is special because it's a gift.

It's a picture of a man wearing a hat under a big yellow rose. You can view it at the upper level of my glasshouse here. Because he gave it to me with Mod/Copy permissions, I have it up in my workloft as a triptych with the left and right side tinted red and green respectively.

As I was working on the vendors for my new mermaid tails, my brain was just pondering the fact that I love colors and the colors of that triptych matched the colors of the tails on the vendors. Then, a light bulb lit up....

The picture is beautiful by itself, and there was a certain ambience about it. But I never understood the connection between the man and the rose... until now.

I thought the man was a traveller because of his hat and what seems like a globe in front of him. He could very well be a traveller. But I thought he was taking his hat off (at the end of his travels) or putting it on (to start his travels), but the rose didn't quite connect.

It didn't occur to me that he could be tipping his hat. He was tipping his hat to the rose!

If that's what it is, this picture is one of the best executed compliments I've ever received!

And it took me only two and a half years to figure it out. :D

THANK YOU, BLUE!

Time... and, again, ...

A old friend (with privileges) blurted something out today that stunned me. Well, what he said didn't stun me. The fact that it sounded like a complaint stunned me. It was a comment about me wanting a lot of time.

I only ask for two things from lovers -- their time and brutal honesty.

The men who strike a chord in me are the ones who wish they could spend more time with me but couldn't. The ones who frustrate me the most are the ones who refuse to spend more time with me because they're on a schedule. The difference is very subtle. To the men in the first category, I am important enough in their lives that they consider the time they spend with me as precious. To the men in the second category, I'm just another appointment. Or worse, a time sink. And sometimes I wonder why they even bother to IM me in the first place.

The biggest compliment I've ever received from a man is when he told me he missed his plane because he was talking to me. He was supposed to take that flight to a very important meeting, and he had to rent a private plane to get there on time. But he had no regrets; he said talking to me was worth it. And we never had sex either; it was just regular conversation.

I realize that it really is less a matter of time and more a matter of prioritization. And I've read a quote in many profiles that said something like this: Do not give priority to someone for whom you are only an option.

*sigh*

/me trims her priority list.

Opal Flu

He said that my eroticism is dangerous, because it is infectious. :D Nobody has ever said that to me before. And he said it very gravely. I'm talking about the Captain, btw.

It's strange that after I met the new guy (I'll call him "Punny" because of his puns), I appreciate the Captain even more. And it's not just because Punny makes me groan, instead of moan. (Ha!) It's that the Captain treats me like a queen. He always has, since I met him.

Even with the language difficulty, he still finds the right words and says the most heartwarming things. He is gentlemanly to the point of being chivalrous; I wouldn't be surprised if he donned an armor and challenged someone to a joust to defend my honor. He prepares for our private roleplays carefully and meticulously as though he were preparing a feast for esteemed guests.

Lora says I'm spoiled... She has no idea....

Giant gardenias for St. George's Day

He asked me what my favorite flower was. The first man to ever ask me that question in SL.

Then, today, I got a huge bouquet of giant gardenias, because he can't log in on Saint George's Day (April 23), which is apparently the equivalent of St. Valentine's Day in his country.

*sigh*



"He" is a new lover. Well, not so new really. I first met him in early March through my sex alt. Very kind, very gentlemanly. And a sexy avie even with newbie skin and system hair! (Well, we've updated him since then, of course.)

For more than a month, he didn't know anything about me, except that I'm a woman and that I am (in his words) "very very very erotic". Then one night (or early morning SLT), we did a brief roleplay just for kicks -- he was a ship's captain and I was a ... mermaid! (Did you expect anything else?)

As we talked, I realized it was probably better to switch him over to my RP alt. Besides, we've become friends and we didn't want to lose that friendship. So I told him that I would introduce him to my other alts where I am more open about myself and that it was up to him which alt he preferred to be with.

He met Opal first and I showed him the work I do. He was already making up his mind; I think he was still preferring my sex alt. Then I introduced him to my RP alt, and she changed his mind. :) To him, my RP alt's character represented "freedom, dangerous freedom but very attractive". And so, he and my RP alt have been in roleplay since. Not very often, since he's busier now, but we RP in email too.

Because he is married, I made him promise me that he wouldn't fall in love with me and he promised. (mfpwtff says, "goodlukwiddat". :D That was the best backhanded compliment I ever heard. :D)

Now, if only I could smell these gardenias....



That conversation with mfpwtff actually started out about something going on with Mer Betta; I badly needed a friend to talk to and he was the only one who was logged in that early and close enough to me to confide in. Earlier that morning, Kyota (Mermaid Temple) made me aware of another mermaid tail seller who has been stealing design elements from other mermaid designers and mixing them up. I can prove that the thief took a picture of one of my tails and simply modified it to make hers. She made enough changes so that it doesn't look like my tails, but she didn't make enough changes with designs she stole from other designers. At least one of those other designers had filed a report with LL already. I'm still talking to people to get advice about this before I decide what to do.

My Captain (that's what I'll call this new lover from now on in this blog) was trying to make me feel better with these flowers. *sigh*

Beauty is in the eye of ...

HiHo did a MODA Spotlight show this past Monday featuring RFyre. After the show, Mak commanded him (in the public voice channel) to meet her in the backroom later. LOL

Anyway, the models got gift cards from RFyre, with instructions to send transaction records to Harper Beresford. Well, HiHo handed his gift card over to Opal, since, well, he doesn't need any clothes. And Opal went shopping last night then sent the transaction records and the gift card back to Harper.

This morning, Harper sent HiHo the refund and an offline IM with a rhetorical question: "... and how come women make better male avatars?!?!?" LOL

Well, I have a theory. Or two. Or three.

Theory #1

When Alt #9 was taking the then-newly-born BF #2 around to look for hair, I commented, "You notice that when you see men shopping, there's usually a woman with them?" His response was "that's to keep the men from running out and blowing clothes money on a rod and reel ... or a shot gun ... or a pair of yosemite sam mud flaps for the truck ...." So, you can ask a guy where you can buy the best HUD for anything (especially sex HUDs) or the best TV screen and he'll give you a long list of vendors with pros and cons. But if you ask him where you can buy the best skin or shoes, he'll give you the one or two places where he got his, if you're lucky.

That's also why most male avatars look alike. They all went to the same store. (I'm kidding! I'm kidding! I know there are so few good male skins out there. LOL)

Theory #2

There's this book about self-identity (but unfortunately, I can't remember the title and it's hidden somewhere in this pile of boxes in my living room) and it says that women generally think they're fatter than they really are and men think they're in better shape than they really are. So, men generally don't have issues about how they look. And they come into SL thinking they're pretty good-looking and so try to make their avatars look like their real selves. And, ummm, let's just say that it doesn't translate well to the medium.

Either that or they get some satisfaction in the fact that a drop-dead gorgeous woman (virtual though she may be) would be so willing to hop into the sack with someone who looks like him.

Meanwhile, women who make male avatars are trying to recreate their dream boat, so, yeah, he'll look better than your average guy.

Theory #3

I think men tend to drink a few beers before they tackle the unpleasant task of modifying their avatar. Capos Calderwood (aka Alex Whitmore irl) has a song that goes, "Beauty... it's in the eye of the beerholder... Tonight we'll drink until we look okay..." So they just keep drinking until their avatar looks okay.

*grins*


Now, keep in mind that this doesn't apply to ALL men; I'm just generalizing. Besides, tbh, I've actually seen quite a few really good ones out there, created by men without any help from a woman. Unfortunately, as Kit and I were lamenting just last night, most of them are gay.

*sighs*

On the other hand, some men know enough to ask a woman for help and so end up looking like a young Robert Redford.

*swoons*