MAD

I think I've talked in the past about how we bring so much of ourselves into SL, how our avatars represent more of our real psyches than we care to admit. Each of my alts are different aspects of my real self. They each have their own domain, their own purpose for existing.

But, a few days ago, I (as Opal) felt a faint sense of jealousy over Alt #9's skin, which prompted me to get the same skin for Opal, even though I already said I won't be buying new skin for Opal for a while. So that was a vague hint of separating. Of aspects of me pulling apart.

Then last night, I witnessed the same separation on someone else.

You see, Alt #9's bf (BF #1) created a new alt (BF #2). BF #2 is supposed to belong to my Alt #9 exclusively, so he wouldn't be disturbed by IMs and such, while he's with me. So, we were running around yesterday, shopping for skin and hair and other important parts. *grins* Anyway, (with my prodding, of course), he used the same shape and the same skin, except with a different beard and different hair, so they looked like twins, but not quite. The goatee on BF #2 made him look more like the "bad boy" type; that beard was his choice.

He had both alts logged in almost the whole time. And towards the end of the evening, I asked, "So, whom do I cuddle with tonight?" And BF #1 replied that he would, then he proceeded to shoo away BF #2, like a jealous boyfriend.

It was a funny and charming roleplay, but I was surprised that he seemed very decided that he chose BF #1 to stay, even though he created BF #2 specifically to be with me. I told him I was glad anyway, because I've grown attached to BF #1, even though I know they're both him. I said that it feels like there was more of him in BF #1; he agreed that there was.

You know, I'm surprised that the mental health professionals aren't coming down on SL in droves. SL isn't helping people integrate their personalities; it's allowing people to split up their personalities even more. :D

Hmmm, I wonder if I could sell a book titled, "Multiple Alt Disorder (MAD) - Split Personalities in Virtual Worlds"....

And, yes, Alt #10 will be named Sybil, and she'll definitely be a member of the "SLoony Bin Residents" group.

The loony bin

(Markoosha left a comment in a previous entry. In it, he advises that I should "focus on 'First' life." I figured I'd respond to him here.)

Markoosha, thank you for the advice. No, it does not offend me. In fact, I've heard that advice many times before. So I hope it would not offend you if I don't take it. :-)

The problem with pat answers is that what works for one person does not necessarily work for another. We all have different circumstances. In my case, the last couple of years of my "First" life marriage was incredibly painful that I have stayed away from serious intimate relationships for years. And yet I know that I need that emotional intimacy with another, a deeper kind of intimacy that platonic friends cannot provide.

Second Life is something of an emotional "sandbox" for me. A place where I can dip my toe in the pool, so to speak. A place to figure out what I did wrong, what I can do better, and whether I am emotionally ready for a full-time relationship. Usually, commitments in SL tend to be valid only in-world, so it's not as risky. But, at the same time, I'm getting my emotional needs satisfied once in a while.

So, the reason I'm not taking your advice is...

If I can't make it work in a (somewhat) controlled environment like Second Life, what makes you think I can make it work in real life?

:-D

Or to make the question more relevant to you...

If a driver hasn't learned to avoid orange cones in an empty parking lot at 15 mph, are you sure you want that person sharing the road with you at 65 mph?

;-D

/me plans to create a group called "Characters who should not be let out into the real world." After she comes up with a shorter name. lol