Racer

I took Alt #11 to Bogart's yesterday. I've been sick since I got back home from my holiday travels and I was feeling miserable. I just needed company.

Actually, I was standing outside Bogart's cam-snooping inside to see who was there and perving people's profiles. Suddenly, I heard a ding-ding. It was a message from someone I couldn't even see inside the ballroom. It turned out he was standing next to me outside the ballroom.

He was very direct. He asked me to dance with that first message. I agreed, he thanked me, and he started walking into the ballroom. I asked him if he realized he had no shoes on. He apologized and said that he was distracted. And the shoes he put on were sneakers. Well, he wasn't wearing a tux. He was wearing a shirt and tie with light colored pants, so I guess the sneakers weren't so out of place.

And he goes fast. Within five minutes of agreeing to dance with him, I learned he's divorced, how long he was married, how many kids he has, and how old he is. Two more minutes and I knew what he does for a living. It's not that I ask him these things; he volunteered them, almost as though he's going through a checklist. Three more minutes and he was asking for a kiss on the lips. I told him I prefer to go slower and kept the conversation on the work he does.

Because of his work, he is not in SL much during the summer. I asked if his romantic affairs usually ended when summer started. He said he had no romances and not many friends either, because "here are many stupid persons and not sincere." Then he added, "i like a woman sincere, sweet and sensual... i think you are all this." I asked him how he knew. This was 20 minutes after we met. He said it was by intuition that he knew.

He asked for the kiss again. I told him he moves fast. He said he drives race cars, so, yes, he moves fast. But after I emoted one, he said he would like to cuddle. I told him, "But at this speed, you'll want sex before we say goodnight." He promised that he's a gentleman.

About 35 minutes after we met, he had already indicated that he wanted to be my bf, he had told me his RL first name, and he had sent me his RL picture. He's a handsome man (the second handsome Italian younger man I met this month; the first one also wanted to be my bf the first day.... I must be broadcasting some vibes). "Racer" has a certain gentleness in his facial features and a certain nerdiness that I find charming.

He tp'd me to his friend's island. We danced a little, dipped in the pool a little, cuddled on the bed a little. I learned more about his family. And I learned that after more than a year in SL, he's still a SLirgin. I know, I know. Sounds incredible, right? But I went along.

An hour and a half after we met, I received two more pictures of him from the neck down. Naked. Damn, the man is sexy.

Long story short, two hours after we met, he was no longer a SLirgin. And neither was Alt #11.

We agreed to meet at 1pm the next day and we agreed to be exclusive for a month.

But something strange happened.

About an hour or so after he said goodnight, he logged back in. (I added him to my tracker so I could come over if he logged in earlier.) I IM'd him and asked if he couldn't sleep. No reply. I called his name. Still no reply. Then it seemed that he logged off, but he actually only hid his status from me. I thought it was rude but I figured I'd give him his space and confront him the next day instead. He logged in a couple more times for long periods until 1pm the next day. But at 1pm, he wasn't there.

At 1:30pm, I sent him a message saying that he doesn't have to hide from me anymore. I said that I was releasing him and that perhaps the reason he doesn't find sincere people in SL is because he himself isn't. Then I said goodbye and took him off my friends list.

At 3:15pm, he called me "crazy" after a string of question marks, followed by "goodbye". I said I wasn't crazy. I told him what happened. When it seemed like he had no idea what I was talking about, I realized that maybe his password was compromised. He doesn't think anybody else knows his password, however.

Then we argued about him not showing up when we agreed. He said he had a class irl, which he never mentioned. I said that, out of respect for my time, he should not have agreed to meet when he had a class. He said, "i not do you justification" and that he doesn't like jealous women. But he said "darling" both times, and how can you stay mad at someone who calls you "darling"?

I told him we couldn't be exclusive. I don't trust him enough at this point and he wants to be free to do what he wants. So, we're friends again, but just friends.

He said he was at a party with friends. I said I was dancing with someone else. But he changed his password like I told him to.

Tip: In an argument, if the other person is struggling with English, have them speak in their native language and use a translator instead. An argument is not the time for an additional layer of miscommunication.

Strange as it may seem, there's something refreshing about an argument with a new lover, if it's done right. It clears the air, assumptions are clarified, you know where you both stand, and in the middle of an argument, the masks tend to come off.

Now that I think about it, the lovers that I had arguments with tended to remain with me longer. Maybe part of that is because, if they didn't care about me so passionately, they wouldn't argue as passionately either; they'd just walk away.