Doms and divas

I rarely make enemies in Second Life. I rarely make enemies in real life either. But I've made a couple of enemies now. And what I've noticed is there's a specific trait that's common between them. They're both female doms.

Now, this isn't a scientific study, just personal observation. But male doms at least respect boundaries. Well, most do, not all. Recently, a male dom sent my alt an IM asking if I was submissive. I said, no. He thank me for my honesty, I thanked him for the direct question, and that was the end of it. No trying to convince me that I really want to be a slave. *That* is respect. And I respect him for according me that respect.

Female doms, on the other hand, simply assume that everyone on earth is their slave and should do as they please on their time. If you don't kiss their asses, they get mad at you and harass you. Sometimes, without provocation.

I had an altercation with one of those female doms who happened to be a designer for one of the MODA shows I was recently part of. She reprimanded me as though I were one of her slaves. She expected me to read her mind and style the outfit specifically as she would have wanted it, even though she neglected to provide instructions. She claimed that I ruined the entire show because of a single outfit. She expected me to chase after her and talk to her when it's convenient for her whether the time was convenient for me or not, simply because she thinks of it as *her* show. She would not even send me an offline IM or an email as I had asked her. No, she expected me to be there when she was there.

Her arrogance stuns me.

I do these shows on my time and I buy the things I need with my own money. Modeling is a time sink and a money sink for models. I started modeling to learn what happens in a show and to help me learn how to market my own products. Done that. These days, I only do it to return a big favor to Juju, who gives me air time for my Mer Betta ad.

Some designers act as though models owe them a big favor. That may be true for models who just want the fame and recognition. It's not for money, I can tell you that. Because models spend way more than they get back in return, even if you include the retail price of the clothes we wear. And sometimes, we don't even like the clothes we wear on the shows. But we go on the runway as though they were our favorite outfits and graciously accept them as part of our compensation. Because most of the time, that's all the compensation we get. Well, besides the intangibles, like the satisfaction of a job well done, etc.

Thankfully, there are designers who treat models wonderfully: Inga Wind, Dany Bimbogami, Leah McCullough, Shinichi Mathy, among others. These are people I would gladly do work for, paid or not, because they treat me as a collaborator in marketing their products, not as a slave.

People in the fashion industry warn about models who act like divas. But they don't talk about designers who act like divas. In real life, the designers can behave like divas because they pay the models very good money. In Second Life, well, ... show me the money.

If you pay me well enough, you can scream at me all you want. But, know that I have a very high price point, for good reason: I've achieved a lot in my real life and I know what I'm worth.