Gone

I honestly don't know what happened. All of a sudden, he was avoiding me, he was logging in only when I wasn't in, and he wasn't responding to either emails or IMs.

He had done it to someone else before. Once, when we were chatting, he said he was ignoring a friend who sent him an IM and not responding at all. He said they were meaningless. So, I figured, this time, I became one of the "meaningless".

So, when I finally caught him online, I said my goodbyes as civilly as I could. In a monologue, because he never responded. He probably already muted me by then, like he did his ex.

I don't think I jumped the gun too soon, although my instinct was to run away as fast as I could. But I gave him the benefit of a doubt for almost a week. That was almost half the length of the affair itself.

I had been in a similar situation in the past. Opened my soul to another, who suddenly decided to stop talking to me for no apparent reason. Well, not apparent to me, at least. It was very painful then and I'm sure some of the pain this time around came from that first incident.

I sent him a copy of the monologue by email, just to make sure. I was already hiding from everyone since the day before, to be a hermit for a while. The next day, he removed me from his friends list.

That was last week. I'm still being a hermit.