The other cat

I started a 365 project a week ago. And to make it interesting, I decided to add a character -- a white cat named Dim Sum -- who will appear in each picture.

But, Dim Sum is not my first cat avatar. A week before I even thought of the 365 project, another cat was born as a result of the same argument I talked about here.



During the argument, Wolfgang compared Alt#6 to a cat who could come and go as she pleased. Like a cat, she would have her independence and she wouldn't be forced to stay with us in our home. Maybe he got inspired by the little RP we did, where I pretended that she hated taking baths.

He kept trying to convince me that Alt#6 would still be free to do as she pleased, but he wanted to offer her a "home." I kept trying to convince him that if Alt#6 had a home, she wouldn't be her anymore, because she has a specific purpose and she can't be emotionally attached in any way.

So, he told me of a French movie called "La Femme du Boulanger" ("The Baker's Wife"), where the wife left her baker husband and ran away with a young handsome lover. In the end, she went back to him and, in the same scene, a black stray cat came into the room. The baker started talking to the cat, and he essentially said that it's fine for it to wander around and have fun, but this was her home and hearth, where she is fed well and she has a warm fireplace to sleep next to. And, on hearing that, the wife sobs, realizing that the message was as much for her as for the cat.

Then I had an idea. In an RP, Alt#6 doesn't have to follow her predefined rules, because it's just RP anyway. After all, she had done a husband-wife RP before.

At the end of that conversation, I said, "Ok. Keep a bowl of milk out." At first, he was confused, then when he realized I was going along with his metaphor, he promised, "i ll keep a milk bowl out and will replace milk every day."

The next day, I was sitting on the bench with a ginger cat -- Alt#6.

"You're earlier than I expected," I said with a smile.

"you are sillier than i expected," he replied with a wink.

"the world seems to stop"

I gave him a hug for a short while and then logged off to take care of RL.  In the past, Impy was usually the one who did the countdown and I was the one left behind.  This time, I did the countdown.

Not long after, I got an offline message that said, ...

"wow, now i know how is that feeling...when you go and the world seems to stop....you are filling my mind and the seconds keep running while i have that 'lost look' to the clear blue of the sky...."

When you finally understand someone's experience or when someone finally understands your experience, that's when your souls touch.

And when someone tells you that the world stops when you leave, that's when you swoon and thank your lucky stars.

"i fought for you"

While Wolfgang was on a holiday, I sent him some seductive photos and links to "entice" him back.  It was a way for us to stay in touch by email, since he couldn't have access to SL during the entire time.  The last one was a simple group photo with Alt#27, Alt#32, and -- for aesthetic reasons -- Alt#6.

I had used Alt#6 for a seductive photo with Alt#27 in the past.  At that time, he wanted her to be his.  I refused, but I said he could have a one-night stand with her.  It was his turn to refuse; he said that he didn't want emotionless hard sex.

But this time, he thought that, by adding her to the photo, I was offering her to him in the way that he wanted.  I wasn't; I was just planning to include her in one of our RPs.  He wanted to "meet" her before the planned RP, so I logged her in and we did a quick impromptu RP about forcing her to take a bath because she was muddy.

His reaction to her, taking her side while Alt#32 was the strict aunt, bothered me to the point of jealousy.  It seemed odd because she's my alt, but I later realized that it reminded me of an old RL incident where I felt the same way, where I felt that I was being pushed out.  Meanwhile, Wolfgang was trying to convince me to allow Alt#6 to "stay" with us as a "niece."

I argued that Alt#6 was meant for a specific purpose and she needs to be free from attachments.  I explained that, when I had a lot of anger and when I hated myself, I logged into her to use men and to be used by them.  He argued that he wasn't trying to stifle her.  At some point during that conversation, he finally understood the reasons why she couldn't be his or anyone's for that matter.  But he expressed his sadness and disappointment.  And that made me more jealous.  Why was she more important to him than Alt#32, who was partnered to his alt?

 [2013/01/12]
Wolfgang#6:
    you are my special one, and nothing and none can replace that
    you must know that and be sure about [it]
    we could fuck the entire sl world [of] women [avies] together, you'd keep your place with me.
    i don't release you
Alt#32:
    You like her too much.
Wolfgang#6:
    i like her
    and it is nice i do
    i like opal also
Alt#32:
    You fought for her.
Wolfgang#6:
    i fought for opal
    i fought for [Alt#27]
    i fought for you
    in fact, i fought for "you"
    in your representations here
Alt#32:
    We argued.... that's not the same as fighting for me.
Wolfgang#6:
    you are wrong
    we argued
    and i fought
    both
    and exactly same about [Alt#6]
    we argued, and i fought
    difference is just i lost ;)
    like with opal

He fought for me. He fought me for me. He's still fighting.