Almost two years ago, on the second day I met Spot, he and I had a very bad argument about trust. It was more than an argument; it was a real fight.
We stopped talking to each other after that, and not in good terms either. Then three months later, he sent me a notecard saying that he was leaving SL, but that he had hoped we'd have a correspondence by email because I was one of the few "different" people that he had met during his years in SL.
That invitation was very unexpected. What's even more surprising is that he's one of my closest friends in SL now. (No, we were never lovers.) Maybe the arguments themselves strengthen the relationship, because you air things out, because you know where you stand, because you discuss things, instead of allowing the resentment to simmer.
Anyway, during that argument, he said, "people in relationships [fight] to *keep* the relationship... it's so much easier to walk away."
He's right. It's so much easier to walk away.
I've had my share of arguments. Some lovers even claim that I enjoy arguing. But sometimes, you have no other choice except to walk away.
Sometimes, there's really nothing to argue for. Sometimes, you have to admit that maybe that was all it was meant to be. No matter how wonderful the relationship was. No matter how special it seemed. No matter how much that realization hurts.
Sometimes, you have no right to fight for what you want, if getting what you want means you'd be putting your lover's happiness and well-being at risk. Because he made previous commitments. Because he has higher priorities.
"If you love something, set it free."
Impy used to do a countdown before he said goodnight. It was a wonderful technique that soothed my abandonment issues. They also say it takes 21 days to make or break a habit. Since he's not here, I suppose I'd have to do it.
So, here we go...