Should anything happen to me

This is something I had already been thinking about for a couple of years. Since LL said that they would only release an account if it's in the deceased's will, I had been planning to write a will and include something about it there.

But my sister brought something up when I chatted with her today. She brought up the possibility that I may still be alive but incapacitated somehow. How do I let people in SL know?

So, during the past few hours, I've started a document that only she and I have access to, and she promised not to read it until I'm incapacitated or dead. It contains a list of people to notify in either case.

She also knows to give people the option to know my RL identity (as well as the names of my other alts) *after my death*, if they don't know it by then. It is an option because once-lovers might choose to preserve the fantasy. Of course, the option would also be available to friends.

Okay, enough of the morbid thoughts....

Fictional vs. virtual

Yesterday, I met a fictional heiress. She's a character in a novel. Since her friends (according to the book) tend to get assassinated, we agreed I'd be her "image consultant," instead of her friend.

Well, that brings up the question... Am I fictional too?

The character that my roleplay alt plays is fictional; that's easy enough. But is Opal fictional?

Virtuality blurs the line between fiction and non-fiction.

Two and a half years

I met Blue Tsuki at a sandbox in 2006. He was wearing an ornate texture for skin and he was building a stepped pyramid.

That Christmas, he gave me one of his works as a present. I've acquired many of his works since then, but this particular one is special because it's a gift.

It's a picture of a man wearing a hat under a big yellow rose. You can view it at the upper level of my glasshouse here. Because he gave it to me with Mod/Copy permissions, I have it up in my workloft as a triptych with the left and right side tinted red and green respectively.

As I was working on the vendors for my new mermaid tails, my brain was just pondering the fact that I love colors and the colors of that triptych matched the colors of the tails on the vendors. Then, a light bulb lit up....

The picture is beautiful by itself, and there was a certain ambience about it. But I never understood the connection between the man and the rose... until now.

I thought the man was a traveller because of his hat and what seems like a globe in front of him. He could very well be a traveller. But I thought he was taking his hat off (at the end of his travels) or putting it on (to start his travels), but the rose didn't quite connect.

It didn't occur to me that he could be tipping his hat. He was tipping his hat to the rose!

If that's what it is, this picture is one of the best executed compliments I've ever received!

And it took me only two and a half years to figure it out. :D


Time... and, again, ...

A old friend (with privileges) blurted something out today that stunned me. Well, what he said didn't stun me. The fact that it sounded like a complaint stunned me. It was a comment about me wanting a lot of time.

I only ask for two things from lovers -- their time and brutal honesty.

The men who strike a chord in me are the ones who wish they could spend more time with me but couldn't. The ones who frustrate me the most are the ones who refuse to spend more time with me because they're on a schedule. The difference is very subtle. To the men in the first category, I am important enough in their lives that they consider the time they spend with me as precious. To the men in the second category, I'm just another appointment. Or worse, a time sink. And sometimes I wonder why they even bother to IM me in the first place.

The biggest compliment I've ever received from a man is when he told me he missed his plane because he was talking to me. He was supposed to take that flight to a very important meeting, and he had to rent a private plane to get there on time. But he had no regrets; he said talking to me was worth it. And we never had sex either; it was just regular conversation.

I realize that it really is less a matter of time and more a matter of prioritization. And I've read a quote in many profiles that said something like this: Do not give priority to someone for whom you are only an option.


/me trims her priority list.

Isn't it roman... Please turn off your hair...

Imagine you're on a romantic date in a beautiful sim. You and your lover have your settings on midnight. Other couples have found their own little nooks all over the sim. Then suddenly, someone teleports nearby with glowing hair.

What on earth?!?

:D No, that didn't happen to me. What really happened was that I set to midnight and realized that *I* was the glowingest creature around. Yes, glowing hair is nice. But only if the sun is up! When set to midnight, I look like a clown sans the red nose!

I mean I *love* the hair styles made by this particular merchant, but it's a pain to turn off full bright, especially since SL tends to miss a number of prims in an object that has about a hundred prims. And I'm sure you know how big a pain it is to edit a specific prim hidden behind several alpha prims. Click,... ooops, no, not that one... click,... ooops, no, not that one... click,.... And if you turn on transparencies, you can't see which one is glowing.

Anyway, I'm just griping. I really do love these styles, even though I have to do a bit more work on them. Thankfully, they're Mod.

"if i would be married in SL..."

"if i would be married in SL with somebody ... for sure that will be with you ..."

I have issues. Everybody who knows me already knows that. The problem is that my issues conflict with each other. You see, I've had abandonment issues since I was a toddler. And after my divorce, I developed this long-term-commitment phobia. Pull. Push.

All I wanted to do was to give the Captain a gift, so, yesterday, I took him to the A.I.Friends store so he can pick out a kitten that looks like his RL cat.

Then, out of the blue, he asked me how SL pregnancy works because one of his friends mentioned that she and her boyfriend are gonna go through the SL pregnancy thing. So, I explained how it's done.

I offered to show him the pregnancy clinics and some prim babies. He declined saying that he is already a parent irl and he doesn't need it in SL. But he added that, if I wanted to, he would. I was touched.

Then as we continued talking about why women would go through that with a prim baby, he suddenly said, "if i would be married in SL with somebody ... for sure that will be with you ...". This time, I was stunned.

I was speechless. This was more serious than the pregnancy offer. And I was confused in more ways than one.

First confusion, he allows me to have other lovers and I see a partnership as being exclusive. I would have thought that he'd ask for exclusivity first.

Second, I love the man dearly. I adore him. I admire him. He is incredibly good to me. But I take partnerships very seriously, even if it's only in SL. The only time I partnered, it was only symbolic, because that partnership agreement was limited only to those alts and we promptly put those alts to sleep.

I think the cricket started chirping very loudly at that point and that added to the confusion in my head.

The Captain sensed that I was getting nervous about the whole discussion. So, he clarified that, no, he wasn't proposing. But I had a feeling that, even if he wasn't proposing then, he was testing the waters.

To tell the truth, if he really really wanted a partnership, I'd likely say yes anyway and deal with my own issues later.


/me prepares to wrestle with the cricket again.