Your bday gift is got !You'll have to tell me when you'll wish to receive it ;)
And I initially thought, Hmmm, he bought another sex furniture?!
At the designated time on Oct 1, my birthday gift said hello.
I knew she was my gift because her username was very close to my real name. And that felt weird.
Flashback to the CaptainMany years ago, I was going to create an alt for the Captain to use in a BDSM roleplay with him. He said that doms typically named their subs. And when I asked him what he wanted me to name my new alt, he said my real name. I declined. I reasoned that it could make me lose my anonymity. He eventually gave me a different name but still related to my real name.
So, when I realized that Wolfgang named my gift after me, I had mixed emotions. But there's more....
(By the way, during the first week of October, the Captain logged in after a long absence. And so did Rocky, also after a very long absence. I wondered if long lost lovers returning to SL was going to be a trend, but it was just the two of them. :) )
Mini-meWhen my gift teleported to where we were (we = one of our paired alts), I saw an avie who was dark-skinned and short. And I wondered,
Is this his interpretation of what I look like irl?
Why is he trying to recreate my RL self in SL?
What does it mean?
Her face is his style, however. Big eyes. Full lips.
We chose to give her a different display name, so I don't feel too uncomfortable referring to someone else with my almost-RL-name.
But he still felt I was distant from her.
Voluntary alt birthsHe used to be very resistant to creating private alts. I won't go through his reasons here. But last August, he created one without any prompting from me. That alt would be exclusive to me, to our group. And he created her to be a companion to one of my unpaired alts in our group.
I was very honored by that gift, but I considered the core (and most important aspect) of the gift to be the gesture, not the alt.
However, because we didn't discuss the creation of his new alt, I felt as though he was trying to curtail the freedom of my alt that he created that alt for. He assured me he wasn't, but he just wanted my alt to be more included in our "family."
I had always said that the pairs we have are like the big bolts that hold our relationship together. On the other hand, he prefers to mix up our alts in different ways to avoid too much familiarity (which breeds contempt) and for more sexiness.
So pinning down my free alt was probably one way for him to solidify our relationship. So I didn't mind so much that my alt's freedom feels curtailed. I see only him mostly anyway, so I didn't really need that freedom, but it's just the principle of it, the feeling of being free.
The creation of my birthday gift was a logical thing for him to do. He was trying to pin down another of my free alts, who was the third wheel in one of the pairs. But he had another motive.... He also wanted a different kind of sexual relationship that I wasn't comfortable with.
The past few days, we discussed the birthday gift's role in our family. We had to redefine who she and her partner should be to make things more comfortable for me. We finally settled on it today.
Wolf loveHe is changing. Our relationship is changing. But the more I learn about him, the more I admire him and adore him.
Maybe he is this way only with me. He did say that he does certain things only for me. And, in addition, he listens to me more and he pays attention. And he tries to do things to please me.
He never said he loved me. But, if this isn't love, what is?