Sunday, March 28, 2010

Young lover

I met him as my sex alt four months ago. It was just a sexual arrangement. He is so young, in his 20s. But, so sweet, I couldn't deny seeing him again. I told him I couldn't be exclusive because I was with the Captain then. He didn't mind, since he had another girlfriend anyway.

We had to find places where we could talk in public chat and still be alone, in order to use the translator. His English is very limited. And, well, I'm learning to cyber in French. *grins*

He was the young lover I left for another in January. I went back to him afterwards and he welcomed me back warmly, repeating over and over that he missed me.

Last week, he wanted to hear my voice and, since I had been seeing him for a while now, I agreed. He fell in love with my voice, with my breaths. I fell in love with his voice and his charming accent as he tried to read the English translations out loud. He has great tenderness for his age. And also great innocence and naivete.

The next day, I decided to introduce him to Opal. After recovering from his initial shock (he was intimidated by Opal's ancient-ness), he was fine. Then I tried to introduce him to my RP alt, and he almost panicked. He said "je veux une femme... pas deux ou trois". Well, the built-in Google translator in the Emerald viewer translated that as "I want a wife... not two or three". The word "wife" made me panic.

We talked again today and it was clear that he wanted exclusivity. I couldn't give it to him. I'm seeing other men but not seriously either. And, yes, I care about him deeply and I love him, but I need more than just sex in a relationship. Even though I focus on the sex, when all is said and done, I need much more than that. As mature and charming and generous as he is, he doesn't yet have the wisdom that comes with experience and insight. Therefore, he could not understand me. Heck, most men my age could not understand me. It can't be a serious relationship if it doesn't go beyond the superficial.

He said he would find another woman, and we agreed to continue to meet as we have before, but no exclusivity. Still, my heart breaks for him, more so now than when I first broke up with him. I wish I were the right woman for him and he the right man for me, but neither of us is. I know my needs and it would not have lasted.

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