Yes Man

I met him a week ago. He has been in SL almost as long as I have, and he still loves it. He's neither a techie nor an artist, so he didn't fit the stereotype of an early adopter. He found Alt #11 at Frank's, sitting alone and he sat by me and kept me company.

Nothing particularly special about the conversation, except that he asked incisive questions so I ended up telling some old personal history that wasn't pleasant. He was very understanding, but I still felt bad that the conversation ended on an iffy note, and it was already 4am so I had to get to bed.

Yesterday, I saw him log in and said hi. He said he was going sailing and that there was a spare seat on the boat. Well, I was in a gown at Frank's, so I waited til he tp'd me before I changed into a bikini. Then we sailed all over Blake Sea, and chatted. Again, just pleasant conversation. Nothing particularly special.

After lag caught up with us and a couple of crashes, we spent time at a nearby island which had swimming poseballs, so we swam around and raced and chatted. We decided to try voice so we could talk while exploring. Then we switched to Skype because his voice was too muffled, so I had to create a Skype account for Alt #11. Since English is not his first language, he was a bit worried that he would not be able to understand me, so I promised I'd type things out if he couldn't, and I tried to remember to speak slower and in simpler English. But he understood me fine most of the time anyway.

At least twice, our avies dog-paddled in the same spot right next to each other, when the conversation became intense. But it was much much later before the conversation got to sex. We talked about sex like we were talking about everyday things. I wasn't particularly aroused, and I think he was slightly. But as I was giving my opinion about certain things, he just naturally said "Yes" once in a while to agree with me.

But there was something about those Yes's. It was the way he said it, combined with some memory in my mind. He drew out the "s" and he said it in a soft whisper. The first time he said "Yes", I had to pause. I was feeling something. Then he said it again the same way. And again. And suddenly I was aroused.

The way he said "Yes" was exactly the same way a past lover said it, except that past lover was saying it while we were making love or during a prelude to sex. I don't even remember which past lover it was! I just remember that he was saying "Yes" that way while I was RPing doing pleasurable things to him.

So, just the sound of that "Yes" was intensely arousing! I'm like Pavlov's dogs!

Well, that was at 4am; I was ready to go to bed. But because of those Yes's, I didn't log off until 6am.

Ohhhh, yessssss! *winks*

I'm in the book!

I should be in bed. I just spent all of yesterday cleaning up my old place, and all of the previous day moving. But I'm too excited so I'm blogging instead.

I got two messages from Gracie Kendal's mass mailing bot:

"Hi Opal! We did it! More than one thousand avatars have posed for Gracie Kendal's 1000+ Avatar Project. Thank you for being part of this project. You are all amazing, creative and soulful people. I am honored you chose to participate."

"Now for the good news! I have collected the first 1000 Avatar portraits into book form and, if you are receiving this message, your portrait is included! Check out my blog for more info www.1000avatars.wordpress.com"

I'M IN THE BOOK!!! *jumps up and down"

Go check it out. If you hurry, you get a $5 discount, which you can use for shipping instead. And if you pre-order through her, she'll even autograph it for you.

I haven't seen it yet, but I think it won't be the runaway bride picture. :)

Another piece of his armor

I did something seemingly innocuous that actually affected Rocky in real life. He came in last night to request that I fix it, and he loosely explained the situation which revealed a bit more about him. And the dynamic between us changed because of it. At least on my side.

To know someone is to love someone.

When a stranger opens up and reveals himself, he stops being a stranger. Most people think that if they reveal too much of themselves, others would flee or would hurt them. I found the opposite to be true. There's something endearing about witnessing someone else's vulnerability. When people shed their armor, trust flows and they become easier to love.

And, I tell ya, when the trust flows, it's easier to get an orgasm... or two... or three... or a ten-minute chain of them. *giggles*

Of course, it helps that he turned out to be a really good cyberer, in spite of his lack of experience. *grins*

Now, if he'd only come in more often.... (Hint, hint!)

Waves on the sand

Updates

1.
Lucky Bastard was speechless. He found me in Yahoo the morning after I wrote the last entry. My email was "very unexpected." He said, "i care but i do not want to go that deep... where my emotions take over my life in sl." I knew that; he had been telling me that all along. I told him I didn't expect him to, and I'm not asking him to. I was just expressing how I felt. But I stopped logging into Yahoo, since I log there just for him anyway. Maybe a little distance would center me.

2.
Rapido stopped talking to me. He didn't reply to my IMs when he logged in. Two days now. I sense he's mad at me. Or jealous because of that blog entry. *sigh* When I was with him last October, we were exclusive even though we didn't make that commitment, simply because I saw him everyday. When he came back recently, we hadn't had a chance to talk and I brought it up the last time we were together; I said that all we did was have sex. His response was that, when he's with me, sex is all he could think about. And that was a very sweet thing to say, especially since he knows what I look like irl. But I don't think he knew I have other lovers this time. Or maybe he has a new lover now. But I still think it's rude for him to not even reply back with a "hi". *sigh*

Update: He's not mad at me. He said his son must have used his account. *sigh*

3.
Spot sent Alt #11 an unexpected message. He said he was leaving SL, but he offered his email address and said he would be honored if I would correspond with him, because of the thousand or so people he met in SL, I was one of the very few who was "different". The message was unexpected because we kinda agreed not to talk to each other anymore, although he *did* wave at me once, when he saw me at Frank's. After a few emails back and forth, we talked in Google Talk a couple of times and exchanged RL info. I convinced him to create a new alt (which he created just to talk to me because it's inconvenient for me to log into Google Talk). I've been telling him about all the activities I've done in SL just to illustrate that there's much much more to SL than "idle banter" and that there's a big wide world outside Frank's.

4.
And Rocky came back from a trip. I was a bit pissed at him because we exchanged email addresses so he could stay in touch while he was traveling, but he didn't check the email address he gave me until he got back from his trip, because, as he says, it's not part of his routine yet. *sigh* But we had a lovely evening anyway. He tp'd me to Sunset Jazz where we stood hugging for a long time (we never even entered the club), then I tp'd him back to my place to show him what I had built. While we were there, I introduced him to Gmok, then to Umpa Lumpa, then to Hottie, then to Admiral Creaky. Of course, he pretended to be jealous. But there were sexual undertones in the conversation and the giggling, and one thing led to another.... :) Lately, we had been talking about what we would do when we meet in real life, in detail, like going to that dim sum restaurant we both like. So I asked him if he was serious about meeting me irl. He said he was. It was just a matter of scheduling. At this point, we figure that July would be the earliest. So, we'd have our own fireworks.... ;)


Waves

If you asked me how many lovers I have now, I cannot say. It seems that my love affairs are changing and taking on shades of gray. Lovers fade in and fade out. The delineation between would-be lover and lover and that between lover and ex have blurred. Lovers come and go and come and go again. Like waves coming up the shore and withdrawing again. And each time a wave comes and goes, the sand changes. Each time a lover comes and goes, a part of me changes. And, sometimes, it's only after the wave withdraws that we see the change in the sand.