Thursday, November 22, 2007

Safety nets

Howard and I had a brief conversation last month. Yeah, yeah, it takes me a while to process things now. If you noticed, I don't write much when I'm doing a lot of living. And that's precisely what I've been doing -- LIVING!

Anyway, this specific conversation started when Howard explained his view of SL romances. He said that his RL relationship "liberates me to go as far as I possible can imagine in SL." Because of that safety net, he is not afraid of relationship pains and rejections. Then he asked me what I viewed as my safety net since I don't have an RL relationship to fall back on when the going gets rough in SL.

Well, I used to have a safety net. Several of them, in fact. It's that porous membrane between SL and RL. It's my anonymity. It's the cricket.

Now, I have none.

However, precisely because of the absence of a safety net, I am learning to truly live. I am learning to let go of my expectations and enjoy every interaction. I am learning to be conscious of every emotion that passes through me and to allow those emotions to enrich my art, my writing, my singing, my life. I am learning to be fully aware *in* the moment.

Having experienced both sides of the line guarded by the cricket, I no longer live that part of my life based on rules I had accepted without question. I now consciously and knowledgeably make relationship decisions each day. And if I should make the wrong decision, then I willingly suffer the consequences, karmic or otherwise.

What could be more liberating than that?

This Thanksgiving, I am grateful for freedom of choice. Happy Thanksgiving.

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