Howard asks when I would be back. I don't know how to answer that question.
As simple as it sounds, it really is a difficult question. It all harks back to the reasons I needed time away. I had come to a point where my Second Life as Opal is no longer nourishing my soul and is, in fact, becoming detrimental to my well-being.
When the physical body is wounded, all you have to do is nourish it so it would heal itself. The same goes with the emotional body. But I have tried to nourish myself by expressing my emotions, by spending time with friends, by burying myself in work. My emotional body would not heal. I had a distinct sense of murkiness and stagnation in my life.
I had to withdraw.
As social as I seem and as much as I love my friends, I am essentially a loner. I need a lot of time for introspection, and I have not had that for a long while.
I am also, by nature, fiercely independent. And yet, I find myself being emotionally dependent on others, and others being emotionally dependent on me. Those emotional dependencies feel like chains that bind. I need to relearn how to love without attachment. And I regret that those who love me are also forced to learn the same.
But I cannot give, if I myself am lacking. And what I lack must come from the only authentic Source deep within me.
When will I be back? When my cup runneth over again.
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I started a 365 project a week ago. And to make it interesting, I decided to add a character -- a white cat named Dim Sum -- who will appea...
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Okay, this blog entry is a long gripe. You've been warned. <gripe> If you look in your Friends List and you notice that Opal ...
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Five magic words. Of course, you have to say it firmly, in a tone that says, "This is not up for negotiation." And, of course, ...
Hey my friend, I know you chose a different path than I *smile* But something someone said to me once just blew me away in its pure truth.
ReplyDeleteUnconditional Love Only Exist When The Conditions Are Right...
Hey my friend, here is some food for thought.
ReplyDeleteThe human mind doesn't like gray area for very long. So we end up popularizing polar ends. The polar ends of your struggle is
Love and expect in return. This is what most people practice fitting with our natural instincts.
Remove desires and love holistically. Monks practice this I think.
Something to think about *smile*
Of course, I've often thought there might be worthwhile things in the shade of gray. Another topic for another time.
Good Morning My Friend
ReplyDeleteI posted some music with an art print in it last night. And as I drown myself in this music and looking at the art work over and over to feel how to interpret it... It came to me!
It is so about your world at the moment.
http://howardssl.blogspot.com/2007/09/new-dimension.html
So while the text is written for someone else. I just realized you just might appreciate the print+music *smile
Hey Opal, it's almost October.
ReplyDeleteHey You :)
ReplyDeleteI know I know, rain is here. But you know, I've always thought the Northwest rain caused me to be a bit more introspective than when I was in that perpetual sunshine state :)
Just checking in to see how you are.
hey... its me!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=feA5SmZUBNU
Well, you know me and what I fill cups with! haha.
Feel better soon my friend *smile*
hey my friend, in Narita airport at the moment, remember that last time I was there? OMG hahaha
ReplyDeleteHave fun and see you soon :)