Wishes of future

Wolfgang and I had been arguing again.  It was mostly because of my stress lately.

First, Rapido was admitted to a hospital because of a heart attack.  Two days later, my mom was admitted to a hospital because her heart stopped beating.  They had to install a pacemaker on her.  My sister wanted me to come home to help out.  I decided it was time to go home for good. So, I'm in the middle of finishing up commitments, planning the move, and looking for a job in California.

Wolfgang senses the stress because I'm touchy and he's normally touchy anyway.  So we argued.  Even with our F-F pair.  The last one stretched for three days and ended yesterday.  It's not that we argued for three days; it's just that the feeling lasted for two additional days.

He doesn't promise to keep the friendship if we ever break up.  So I proposed that we downgrade our relationship to a friendship now before we have an argument that is so explosive that he'd never speak to me again.

My proposal upset him even more.  He knows I rarely have time for friends, so, from his perspective, it's the same thing.  He was feeling rejected and the argument continued.  I had to explain that I was actually trying to keep him in my life, but he doesn't see it that way.

On the second day, we were both calmer but still melancholy.  I told him that, because of what I'm going through in real life, I needed to be held and I needed his protection, his support, and his maleness.  But I was afraid to ask for our M-F pair because he might construe it as rejecting our F-F pair.  He agreed that he probably would have, but he said I could ask anyway.

We had already decided that we would meet as our M-F pair on Thursdays, because the last time we did, it felt like we were strangers again.  So we met as our M-F pair this morning and it feels warmer and more comforting.  We started to talk about our RPs and about doing a recurring RP for each of our pairs, with occasional short RPs with different scenarios.

Wolfgang#3: i like think about projects
Alt#27: projects?
Wolfgang#3: yes like main rp, it shows some future wish
Alt#27: Future wish for what?
Wolfgang#3: wishes of future
Alt#27: a future together, you mean?
Wolfgang#3: build some future
Wolfgang#3: yes, not with my ponytail

So, that settles it.... We're building a future with him and me.  Not him and his ponytail.

/me shakes her head and mumbles, "Smart ass...."  :D