"Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!"

Today, I heard a "ding-ding".

The IM was from him, from Tom of The Cromlech. First, there was the system message that said my autoresponse was sent to him. Then, there was his ...

"Is it Monday?"

This time, it wasn't a dream. Obviously.

And he didn't follow the script; he was supposed to say "hi" and not ask if it's Monday yet. That was MY line.

I asked him if he had read my blog. He said no. So I copied the first three paragraphs from yesterday's post into the IM window.

Opal: You miss me, I presume?
Tom: Of course I do.

So I met him to give him a hug.

Tom: missed me, I presume
Opal Lei smiles.
Opal: if you didn't miss me, I wouldn't sense you.
Opal: If I didn't sense you, I wouldn't miss you.
Opal: If I didn't miss you, you wouldn't sense me.
Opal: If you didn't sense me, you wouldn't miss me.
Opal: That's why I asked for 2 weeks.
Tom: I don't enjoy not talking to someone who has a place in my heart
Opal: Then the cycle will keep going.

For him, friendships mean saying hi whenever he sees them log in. I wondered if I should just hide my status from him. He said if I do that, then I might as well just dissolve the friendship.

All or nothing.

Opal: I don't think we're done.
Opal: I've said that before.
Opal: If we were done, there won't be this attraction anymore.
Opal: There won't be this pull.
Tom: I dont know how you understand friendship
Tom: I don't feel a lover's pull towards you
Tom: I feel a friend's need to stay in touch
Tom: and share your life
Tom: There's a big difference for me.

He kept saying I should dissolve the friendship, but he claimed it wasn't his wish. Finally, he agreed (again) to not bother me for two weeks.

But in the end, he still called me "love".


To be honest, I see all these red flags. I get conflicting messages; he says one thing and then denies that's what he meant. He disregards my boundaries; I asked to be left alone for two weeks; he couldn't stay away for more than a few days. He didn't like the fact that I analyze my relationships and that I clearly define my boundaries, because it is "distancing", meaning I lose his affections.

It was as though he demanded more of my affections and trust, when I had already trusted him with my RL information, whereas he wouldn't even trust me with a copy of the RL picture, which I saw in his 1st life tab before I made him aware that there's really no anonymity online.

Whether he's conscious of what he's doing or not, it feels like he's trying to gain some kind of control over me.

And there's a little voice inside me that's warning, "Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!"