Yesterday, I made a decision. Yesterday, I decided to move on.
I could have just moved on without a word, as I'm sure he has. But I don't want another "I wish I knew" night that complicates life. I don't want another misunderstanding. So I sent him an email yesterday. He hasn't replied to my emails for a while now, and I'm not expecting a response to that one either. But it served its purpose; it was an act of release, of letting go.
I could have listened to what Anna had been advising for years. I could have preserved my boundaries and kept him with my sex alt. But then I would have missed out on an incredible emotional experience. And, most importantly, I would have missed out on a potential great friendship.
But life is a one-lane road. Sometimes, other roads run alongside for a while, and then they veer off to other directions. But there's that deep serenity when you're driving solo. You can hear your own thoughts. You can enjoy the scenery. The world is at peace.
/me sets the cruise control, turns on the music, and breathes.