The cricket's thumb

Sometimes, friends remember things I've said that have impacted their lives, even if I don't remember saying them. Sometimes, friends say things that have impacted *my* life, even if they didn't think anything of it. Oftentimes, it takes a while before the impact hits me.

Howard pinged me yesterday after reading my last blog entry. So, I figured I'd get his advice and the conversation got to why a man would hide his virtual affairs from his wife, even though he claims that she doesn't care about him anymore. Howard's response was essentially that the man still loves his wife and still wants to spend his life with her, and he doesn't want to jeopardize that, whether he is aware of it or not.

I had to let Howard go when Lover logged in. I wanted to know where we stood. I had separated Alt #9 from the rest of me and put her to sleep, so that I could be free to be with someone else. Now that there's only him again, the question becomes: Does Alt #9's partnership to his alt also means that Opal is partnered to his main as well? And when he cannot come into SL anymore, do we continue in email?

He said okay about continuing in email, just to appease me. I sensed a reluctance and that's not what I wanted. Certainly, there were logistics issues, but, if he really wanted me, those issues were very minor. He explained that he already lost me, that he "cried [his] ass off over [me]", that he didn't expect the Hitchhiker would release me, and that he's still stunned from that news.

I had a chat with Lora later in the evening, and she kinda confirmed what Howard said, even though I asked her a different question altogether. I think they're both right.

I had a sense that the Hitchhiker coming into my life provided Lover a good reason to make his exit. It eased his guilt for leaving. But when the Hitchhiker exited stage left before he could complete his own exit, he was stuck with me in his hands and now he doesn't know what to do with me.

To be honest, I feel like a hot potato.

Then, today, it hit me. The same words that the Hitchhiker said to me apply just as well with my lover. I need to step aside myself so that Lover could work on his marriage.

And, here, I thought the cricket had been unusually quiet the past three months. Little did I know that he was just waiting right outside the parking lot with his thumb out, hitching a ride.

tgyi, mfpwtff