This is a response to some of Xiana's points in her comment to "Sunrise in Aglia". As she had mentioned in the past, she and I disagree on a lot of things. But, hey, we've disagreed since she was born. Still, I'm very proud of her writing and her thoughts. And I love her dearly and unconditionally.
Romantic love is always conditional -- "I will love you if you love only me." Only universal love can be truly unconditional -- "I love you no matter what." Universal love sets the other person free, if necessary. Universal love is not the same thing as martyrdom. Universal love does not sacrifice love of self in exchange for love of other, because universal love is love of all God's aspects, which includes the self as well as the other.
Breaking down barriers that someone puts up to protect their heart is disrespectful of their psychological boundaries. Better to entice the person out of their emotional forts by assuring them that it's safe to come out.
Trying to fix a broken man -- or a broken woman, for that matter -- is like teaching a frog to sing. You'll only waste your time and irritate the frog. First, true change and true healing can only come from within. Second, the other person might not even think they're "broken." They might think it's just who they are.
When I was winding down my therapy with a shrink after my divorce, my shrink said that I could still continue to visit and we could work on my other issues. My response was "No, thank you. I'd like to keep some of my psychoses. They make me an interesting person." ;D