Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Crossing the line

I've done it. I've crossed the last line I drew on the sand. This past week, I met two Second Life lovers in real life.

The first was a recent lover; the second was a lover in the distant past. Both are very dear friends, who have touched my life in a significant way.

But the meetings couldn't be more different.

The first gave me an hour or so of his day; the second gave me an entire day. The first was emotionally distant, although he was very friendly; the second was emotionally very warm and intimate.

Both gave me warm hugs. The first gave me a hug before we parted; it was the end of the meeting. The second gave me a hug soon after we met up; it was the beginning of the day.

With the first, our meeting was like a business lunch. With the second, our meeting was like a long-awaited reunion; it felt as though we had met before.

But there is another line that I crossed. The first had a meal with me and satisfied a physical hunger; the second made love to me and satisfied an emotional hunger.

Even the lovemaking felt very comfortable, as though we had done it before. He said that we *had* done it before -- in our minds, in our hearts, in our souls.

He knows how to make a woman feel beautiful and desirable, not just with his words, but with his caresses and his kisses. And that makes him a wonderful lover. Most men think it's a technique that makes them great in bed; it isn't. It's how he makes his partner feel about herself.

The whole day felt surreal, like a dream. And it was very difficult to say goodbye. He stayed with me until the airport shuttle arrived to pick me up early the next day.

This experience changed me, to say the least. And it changed me in many ways. It is significant in my real life as well, because it ended a long fast and broke down self-imposed walls.

What happens now is still up in the air. I'm not expecting anything from him; time is still an issue. I still have other lovers, and he knows that. But the fact that he and I made love in real life sets him apart. Not because real life sex has a higher value than virtual sex (although it is definitely more satisfying), but because he has seen my real self naked and he still thinks I'm beautiful.

Of course, he said that when he wasn't wearing his glasses. ... Hmmm.... :-\

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