The Poet and broken promises

The Poet

It was just after midnight and I thought I'd hang out at Frank's for a couple of hours before going to bed at 2am, which would give me a good eight hours of sleep before my teleconference.

I was in Alt #11 (as usual these days) in a dark marine blue gown standing by the staircase away from the crowds. Avies came and passed right by and headed to the bar area where most of the people stood. Except one. He walked by, stopped a meter or two away.

I had seen him at Frank's before; his name was familiar. Since he was the only one close to me, I figured I'd check out his profile. I'd also perved his profile before; his RL pic was familiar. Since he had ignored me before, I thought he'd scan my profile, then move on towards the crowd. He didn't. Instead, I heard a ding-ding.

He said something about reading "the thoughtful profile of the quiet lady in green." And I emoted something about looking around for a lady in green. My gown was blue. (It was several hours later, when we went to another sim, that he realized my gown was really blue. I told him I just thought he was color-blind like 70% of men supposedly are. *grins*)

Then he moved closer and stood by me as we talked. For more than two hours, that was all we did -- talk. It wasn't hurried like my usual conversations. It wasn't lazy and laid back like the ones that bore me. Instead, it was deeply thoughtful and -- I'd even say -- hypnotic.

It was as though he always spoke in metaphors. In poetry. His words were full of colorful images, glimpses of magical moments that existed only in the mind.

There was a lot of silences in between, which is also rare in my conversations. They weren't just comfortable silences, they were comfortable pregnant silences. Full of essence.

More than twice, he had hinted at an emotional intimacy that I hadn't even decided on yet. It was as though he had already decided to be my lover. I shushed him. He said he was following his intuition.

For the first hour and a half, I wasn't connecting. I was observing this man who had so obviously fallen for me and I don't understand why. I didn't even buy it. Then he said something that wasn't even significant, except that at the time he said it, I felt a psychic switch, as though I had a paradigm shift. Suddenly, I felt a connection. Suddenly, I grokked him.

We had been talking for two hours before we decided to dance and we went out to the deck by the water. It was only for a few minutes. He wanted to talk by voice, so we went to another sim, which had lots of waterfalls.

We continued to talk. He read me a poem that he had written many years before, inspired by a dream of a green field, and describing an idyllic romantic scene. He had lost it and discovered it again recently. When he read it, it felt as though he was making love to me, and there was nothing sexual about the poem at all. It wasn't the words of the poem, but the sound of his voice and the fact that he was reading it to me. In fact, at that point, it felt as though we had already made love all night.

Much later, he said something -- I can't even remember what it was -- maybe it was a description of a touch. Something very simple and benign. And suddenly, I was very unexpectedly having my first orgasm of the night, without even having touched myself.

To my surprise, after that first lovemaking, he played "Blue Moon" on the piano for me. He said that he improvised and he always played a song a different way each time. So that rendition was unique and for my ears only, and no one else would hear it exactly that way again.

It was already 9:30 am when we started saying goodnight. He was already late for work.

In those nine hours,
* He learned about my alts.
* He sent a friendship request to Opal.
* He revealed his full RL name.
* I revealed my RL identity.
* He saw my RL picture. (He has his in his profile.)
* We had sex three times.
* We voiced.
* We webcammed.
* We agreed to meet irl in April/May.

"It's all very rl to me," he said. This is an RL affair. And I must be crazy but I agreed to give it a try.

Btw, when I logged into Opal afterwards, I accepted his friendship and was going to write the date in the Notes tab (which I do with everyone I meet), when I realized I already had something there. It said, "2009 March 10 at Apollo. Walked away with someone else as I IM'd him."

When I looked in my chat logs for that day, it had the following just after 3am:
Opal Lei: The total and perfect romance is not out there. It's all in our heads. *sigh*
Poet: hearts and souls too, if beautifully opened
Opal Lei smiles.

Broken promises

Well, in the middle of that first lovemaking, I realized I had broken a promise. Two promises, in fact.

At 8am, Lucky Bastard logged in. I told him I was with someone at the moment and he left me alone. But the Poet and I said our goodbyes, LB was still online so I IM'd him, asked if he remembered my promise to give him first dibs after my surgery, explained I had given that opportunity to someone else, and begged for forgiveness. He asked for a minute to think whether to forgive me or not. After the minute, he said, "I forgive you... because you are honest with me."

There's a lot of reasons why this man is my #1; that forgiveness is just one more of those reasons. He was himself again after that and he jokingly asked if it was another 15-hour marathon. When I said it was only nine or ten hours, he said I had a quickie then. :D

I have yet to talk to Surf about the promise I broke.

The rest of my "lovers" seem to have faded away, except Hot Wings who still says hi when he's around. Maybe the rest gave up after they found out I couldn't have sex for a while, and that's fine.

These three primary lovers cover all the bases. I think I'll stop taking on any more for now. The fact that this third one is an RL one is scary to me. So I have a lot of issues to deal with.... assuming I don't bore him before the third date.

Old bear

Another old lover pinged me last night and got caught up on my love affairs. I called him "Bear" because of a picture he used once for his profile pic. It was a picture of a brown bear, which said, "An old bear and his honey live here."

He copied out the three notes he wrote in my profile. The first one was about the day we met. The second one was a reminder to himself to take me to Simone to get me a formal gown. The third one was about the day we broke up.

Since he had to go, I promised him an email explaining why I now allow myself to have affairs with married men.

It was a very long email. :)