Being fiercely independent, I am irked to no end when someone does something for my "own good" without my permission, as though I don't know what's good for me. I see those people as taking my free will away from me.
I'm pretty sure I've been manipulative and controlling myself. We hate in other people what we hate in ourselves. In fact, I remember feeling frustrated because January lover would not modify his avie for me. We tend to be even more manipulative and controlling with people who are close to us, especially our lovers.
The weird thing is that, irl, we are limited to changing our lover's behavior. In SL, we move closer to Pygmalion's mythology in that we have the opportunity to change how they look as well.
The problem is, oftentimes, we are unable or unwilling to handle the monster we've created. Or we forget that there are consequences to changes we make. So the monster is released to the town, with monster and townspeople totally unprepared to deal with the other, causing chaos, fear, and loneliness.
I could say that it would be better if we directed our efforts towards changing ourselves instead of changing others. But saying so would just be another attempt by me to change you, dear reader, wouldn't it?