Crossing the line

I've done it. I've crossed the last line I drew on the sand. This past week, I met two Second Life lovers in real life.

The first was a recent lover; the second was a lover in the distant past. Both are very dear friends, who have touched my life in a significant way.

But the meetings couldn't be more different.

The first gave me an hour or so of his day; the second gave me an entire day. The first was emotionally distant, although he was very friendly; the second was emotionally very warm and intimate.

Both gave me warm hugs. The first gave me a hug before we parted; it was the end of the meeting. The second gave me a hug soon after we met up; it was the beginning of the day.

With the first, our meeting was like a business lunch. With the second, our meeting was like a long-awaited reunion; it felt as though we had met before.

But there is another line that I crossed. The first had a meal with me and satisfied a physical hunger; the second made love to me and satisfied an emotional hunger.

Even the lovemaking felt very comfortable, as though we had done it before. He said that we *had* done it before -- in our minds, in our hearts, in our souls.

He knows how to make a woman feel beautiful and desirable, not just with his words, but with his caresses and his kisses. And that makes him a wonderful lover. Most men think it's a technique that makes them great in bed; it isn't. It's how he makes his partner feel about herself.

The whole day felt surreal, like a dream. And it was very difficult to say goodbye. He stayed with me until the airport shuttle arrived to pick me up early the next day.

This experience changed me, to say the least. And it changed me in many ways. It is significant in my real life as well, because it ended a long fast and broke down self-imposed walls.

What happens now is still up in the air. I'm not expecting anything from him; time is still an issue. I still have other lovers, and he knows that. But the fact that he and I made love in real life sets him apart. Not because real life sex has a higher value than virtual sex (although it is definitely more satisfying), but because he has seen my real self naked and he still thinks I'm beautiful.

Of course, he said that when he wasn't wearing his glasses. ... Hmmm.... :-\

Midnight Yes's

We've been talking every night at midnight these days. Sometimes we talk until 3am; sometimes, until 6am. By voice.

He read all my blogs, both SL and RL. He knows pretty much everything about me now. That's not unusual; other lovers have done that in the past. What impresses me is that he notes what I like and does what he thinks would please me.

He read the background story of my RP alt and, because her character is based on a book, he went out to buy the book.

I invited him to join me in roleplay so we would have an activity we could do together. He's not comfortable with roleplaying, because he doesn't feel confident about his English, although he had done some fighting roleplay in the past in his own language. But he was very willing to try and, last night, he had already come up with the background story for his character.

I had also told him about a scene I had witnessed, where an anthro and a human female slave were having sex, and I mentioned that I was surprised at how erotic that was. The other day, he said he had a surprise for me. He had bought the same anthro avatar. O... M... G..... *swoons*

Without any prompting, he decided to create an alt for me. He asked what name I wanted him to use, then, on his own accord, he tacked on Alt #11's last name. He wore several skins and hair with his main alt, and there was a specific skin and hair I liked. He bought those for his new alt.

There are many more little details that he could have picked up only by reading my blogs. He pays attention. And he acts on them generously. And I am overwhelmed. It feels as though he's trying to bring me into his life through these objects and experiences that are part of my life.

He's careful about saying "yes" so he doesn't inadvertently arouse me. :D But he says "yes" with his actions instead, and that melts my heart.

Midnight is now our routine. He meets me when he wakes up and we spend time together until I start falling asleep. In a conversation with one of my RP sisters, I told her that I didn't have much time because I was expecting a lover at midnight. So she called him my "midnight lover." I joked that I'm the anti-Cinderella because I actually look forward to midnight.

Once he said that he wants to break my record of 10 months for one affair.

I hope he does.